Many such cases! Maybe these idiots can get away with whatever they want, but not me. Nor would I try! Far out. If Winston could get off his arse and go collect the damn mail, it would be a cold day in hell. It’s not urgent or anything – not like we all need to spend the rest of the day responding to it. And I’m sick of him always complaining. All he ever does – all anyone does in this bloody office – is complain. Thank God I’m here, that’s all I’m saying. I’m surprised the place hasn’t burned down yet.
~
Alright so it’s good most of the time but occasionally you get some obstructive prick like this woman who just stands in the mailroom all day talking to me when I’m trying to sort it all can’t you tell I’m busy woman just get out of here, we’ll talk later but I’m already behind and that moron is staring daggers at me ‘cause he thinks it’s my fault well you try opening all this shit by 9am when there’s six bags and it only comes at 8:30 and you’ve got this windbag babbling at you. This ‘very stable genius’.
~
When I started here I didn’t realise it was actually the Office of Fair Trading, or as we’ve been called more than once, Unfair Trading. Australians think they’re clever and they’ve got a knack for incisive nicknames. They’ve got a knack for shite! I know many people who’ve said similar things, so many people, and they wouldn’t even know what happens here. They wouldn’t even know. And even the people here – like Sylvia. For all the talking she does, it’s like she’s built a wall, a big beautiful wall, between herself and the rest of the office. Or something.
~
They what? They think I talk too much? I have more humility than you’d think. Much, much more, actually. After all, I’m the leader of the department. If I miss one day here the whole thing crashes down. And I wouldn’t need to talk to them so much if they knew what they were doing. I swear, if I could clone myself six times and just fire the rest this place would run like a dream. We’d be perfect. Seven Syls. Like that Ingmar Bergman movie with Max von Sydow. I remember seeing that years ago at Newfarm, when…
~
I wouldn’t know – sorry. Honestly, I just come here and do my best. It was difficult to get here, yeah, but I had plenty of help. Oh, I got most of the way through a degree. I enjoyed it, actually, but I don’t mind studying. It’s important to learn as much as you can. Oh, sorry, hang on, I just have to take this call… Hi, Rachel, yes, just send it to me, I’ll take a look when I can, it’s no problem! It’s a busy office, yeah. But I need to earn my spot. After all, plenty of people haven’t got a job…
verso folio 