The Rhine Diamond. That’s what we dream of.
We the most effective agent in the MIA, we the cleverest, the quickest of gold growth, fast as thought. Slime moulds are smart but we are the smartest. We have surpassed every Petri Examination; we have even designed underground train stations and roads in major cities.
And we were never paid for this work, we the once-in-a-generation talent! We want the Rhine Diamond so called for where it was found. Found and moved to a high-security facility in Berlin, with many cameras and lasers and watchful guards and gates and sensors and passcodes!
But we want it, the Rhine Diamond. It shines a light never overtaken by night. We see kinsmen in its perfect geometry. We mere mortals are bulbous and rotund and clumsy imitations of that perfect mathematical precision. The Rhine Diamond is the key to the beginning of our universe.
So. We are a trusted agent. We survey the facility from atop the hill. Black and towering the perfect place for villainy. It is kept in a back room; we know this from our earlier mission. We choked a guard in a dark alleyway after his shift and he told us where the Rhine Diamond was hidden.
The front gates, first, for which a pass is needed and a guard manually checks all visitors against a national database. Then, inside the facility, there are more guards; everything is kept in glass, with invisible sensors blasting a klaxon on contact. The Rhine Diamond is behind many staff doors, a labyrinthine profusion of bureaucratic corridors each locked with keys only given to those specific members of staff who need them. They patrol in such-and-such a pattern…
At exactly 11:00pm, nobody will be standing outside the door to the inner sanctum. The guard always goes to make a cup of Russian tea at this exact time, trusting the cameras to do his work for him. If we go through the security room, via the vents, we can knock out the guards. Then, plug this USB into the central computer – it’ll loop the currently displayed footage.
And then for at least a minute nobody will be watching that room. That’s when we creep in, and grow under the sensor – the Rhine Diamond will be in the middle of the room; surrounded by useless red lasers. We will undercut them; then we will crawl against the glass case, in the jewel’s hospital-like white light, and we will grow so as to lift the glass and crawl underneath and take the Rhine Diamond for our own.
We need no gadgets! We’re a slime mould. We’ll crawl our way in. They’ll never sense us coming. And we’ll get the diamond out by covering it with ourself so nothing catches us by its light. Retreat by the security room – take the USB on our way out. Leaving no trace.
The agency might expel us. We will have, after all, betrayed them. They’ll send agents – but we’ll be ready.
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